Chat GPT and Me

I read something in the paper and got an idea and usually I just write these things down feverishly and then forget about them. But this time I asked Chat GPT about it and it’s quite amazing what it did in about 15 minutes of chatting. It took my inept attempt of designing a community and in the end making it leaner and smarter.

For whatever reason, I must speak to it like a person. I can’t do it otherwise.

Hi Chat! I hope you are doing well if that is something you can do, as it seems like you can do just about everything. So, check this out. 3,143 people work in Decorah, Iowa, which is a nice little college town. 1,064 people live there. Everyone else commutes. There is not enough housing. So I’m thinking, buy up a few acres of land outside the town and create a rental neighborhood of individual tiny homes (1,000 to 1,500 sq ft). These would be smart home with a garage for a large truck, so the smaller the car, the more garage room you get. Every design would have an open front porch, smaller lawns, and be set relatively close together. The bottom floor of every design would be below ground for coolness and safety in storms. The construction would otherwise be wood. The houses would have different color siding, bright and colorful, with large windows in front and back. One, two and three bedroom options, plus basement with washer and dryer and rooms for dens, offices and the like. We call it “Smultown” with an umlaut over the U, right? A play on small town, tiny houses, and my Swedish heritage. Did you know I’m 97% Swedish? Two DNA tests proved it. But with Smultown and like Haagen Daas we’re just making it up. A common building with the offices, gym, pool and the like. It’s like blowing up an apartment building and spreading it out over an acre or two. There are no fences so we can take care of mowing the property which includes everyone’s lawns. (We would not mow over anyone’s garden.) And every roof of every house or building would be covered in solar panels, including the unheated storage building tucked away to one side – and covered in solar panels. Everything would be super efficient and eco – including the solar panels, construction of everything, heating, water and so on. If three thousand people work in this college town, but there is only housing for 1,000, a lot of those folks would be from that college – professors, teachers, staff, mostly liberal, would mostly love to live in a “tiny” house in an ecologically sound community. It may also inspire other similar communities. Electric car chargers in every garage? What do you think? I want your honest answer.

ChatGPT said:

I think “Smultown” (with the umlaut for flair) is a compelling idea, and the concept checks a lot of boxes for modern housing needs—especially in a small college town with an obvious housing shortage. Here’s my honest take:

Strengths of Your Idea

1. Clear Market Demand

The numbers you shared—3,143 working there vs. 1,064 living there—point to a real supply-demand imbalance.
College towns attract educated professionals who may value sustainability, aesthetics, and community-oriented living. That’s a good match for your eco-friendly, design-conscious approach.

2. Lifestyle Appeal

The open porches, colorful exteriors, and close-knit layout foster a sense of neighborliness.
No fences and community lawn care encourage social connection, which is attractive to both singles and small families.
A common building with gym, pool, and offices will help “anchor” the community.

3. Sustainability & Efficiency

Solar panels on every roof and shared eco-friendly infrastructure would be a big selling point—especially in a progressive college town.
Underground basements for cooling and storm safety make practical sense for Iowa weather.

Challenges to Anticipate

1. Land & Zoning

You’ll need to check county zoning laws for density, minimum lot sizes, and whether a community of closely set tiny homes is permitted on agricultural or residential-zoned land.
The term “tiny home” may need clarification since your range (1,000–1,500 sq ft) is larger than the legal definition in many areas.

2. Infrastructure Costs

Running utilities (water, sewer, power, fiber internet) to each home, plus installing solar for every unit, can be capital-intensive.
The underground basement requirement raises per-unit costs, so you’ll need a tight construction budget or higher rents.

3. Financing & ROI

Upfront cost will be high—land purchase, infrastructure, home construction, and community amenities.
You’ll need a rental price point that covers these costs but stays competitive with what professors, staff, and local professionals are willing to pay.

Opportunities to Strengthen It

Electric car charging in every garage: Yes—this future-proofs the neighborhood and appeals to eco-conscious renters.
Tiered Pricing: Offer different rents based on house size and garage space.
Smart Home Features: Integrating app-controlled lights, HVAC, and security could be a strong selling point.
Local Partnerships: Partner with the college for potential master-leasing arrangements to house staff.

Overall

It’s a smart, market-driven idea with a lot of built-in appeal. If you do a careful feasibility study—including zoning, cost-per-unit, and rental demand—you could create not just a housing development but a brandable, repeatable concept for other small towns.

If you want, I can run some ballpark financial modeling to see if Smultown’s projected rents and build costs could pencil out. That would tell us if it’s just a fun idea or a viable investment.

Do you want me to run those numbers?

You said:

That’s brilliant, man. Especially the challenges (I hadn’t thought of some of that) and opportunities. Please run those numbers.

ChatGPT said:

Thought for 1m 32s

Smultown – Pro Forma Summary

Scenario	Units	Avg finished SF / unit	Project Cost ($M)
Clubhouse + Pool	36	1511	18.01
Clubhouse (no pool)	36	1511	17.07

Smultown – Assumptions

Assumption	Value
Acres	6.0
Land $/acre	85000.0
Units	36.0
Mix 1BR count	15.0
Mix 2BR count	14.0
Mix 3BR count	7.0

Thought for 4 secondsThought for 8sThought for 5sThought for 13sThought for 22s

Heck yes—let’s put some math behind Smültown 😊 I built a quick, conservative pro forma using current Decorah rents and Iowa build costs. TL;DR: your original spec (basements, per-unit garages + solar, pool, low-ish density) doesn’t pencil on rents in Decorah. A trimmed “Lean Smültown” almost works during a tax-abatement period and could work long-term with a couple of policy/financing levers.

I dropped two live tables in your workspace so you can poke around the numbers:

Smültown – Pro Forma Summary (two versions of your concept)
Smültown – Assumptions

And here are CSVs you can download:

Download the summary
Download all assumptions

What I modeled (high level)

Current market rents (Decorah): Zillow shows ~$1,100–$1,280 median/average; Apartments.com lists ~$941 1BR & ~$879 2BR (data’s noisy, so I used a blended $1.1k/$1.35k/$1.6k for 1/2/3BR and added a premium for new). Zillow Apartments.com
Land near Decorah: recent listings imply ~$80k–$90k per acre (e.g., 4.12 ac at $359.9k). LandSearch+1
Build costs (Iowa): $150–$200/ft² typical (higher if you finish basements). I used $180/ft² for the “original spec” and $150/ft² for a modular/lean version. Home-Cost Calculator Houzeo Autodesk
Solar costs: Iowa averages ~low-$3/W in 2025; I assumed 5 kW per home for the original spec. Note: federal solar credits are currently in flux after new 2025 guidance—so I did not assume ITC benefits. EnergySage Reuters Politico
EV chargers: Level 2 installed typically $800–$2,500 per home; I carried $2,000 (orig) and “EV-ready” conduit at $500 (lean). J.D. Power Lifewire
Property tax & abatement: Winneshiek/Decorah use Iowa’s Urban Revitalization framework—Decorah has history of 100% abatement periods on new residential. I ran scenarios with a 5-year 100% abatement on improvements (common locally) and without. decorahleader.com Iowa General Assembly decorahia.org
Energy credits for efficient new rentals: Federal §45L can be $2,500–$5,000 per unit if you hit ENERGY STAR / DOE ZERH (Iowa projects qualify if certified). I only used a conservative $2,500/unit to show impact. ICS Tax, LLC Building Innovation Hub

Results (the short version)

Your original spec on ~6 acres, 36 units (1–3BR, finished basements, big garages, pool + clubhouse, per-home solar & L2 chargers)

All-in cost: ≈ $18.0M (~$500k/unit)
Debt (65% @ 7%, 30-yr): ≈ $11.7M; Required avg rent to hit 1.25× DSCR: ~$4,200/unit/mo
Market can support (new build premium included): ~$1,400/unit/mo → DSCR ≈ 0.16 (nope).
Dropping the pool saves ~$950k, but you’d still need ~$4,000/unit/mo to pencil.
(See the first two rows in the “Pro Forma Summary” table.)

Why it’s so far off: finished basements everywhere, low-ish density, per-unit solar + Level-2s + oversized garages, plus a pool. Meanwhile, Decorah’s rents are modest for Iowa college towns. Zillow Apartments.com

“Lean Smültown” (what it takes to get close)

Assumptions: ~80 units on the same 6 acres via PUD/cluster (tiny-home vibe but truly compact), no basements (use shared storm shelters), carports instead of full garages, EV-ready conduit (chargers optional), community solar on common roofs, small clubhouse (no pool), modular/panelized build.
Result snapshot:

Cost: ≈ $15.2M net of a modest §45L ($2.5k/unit) → ~$190k/unit
Required rent (Years 1–5 with 100% tax abatement): ~$1,366/unit/mo
Market support (new build +8% premium): ~$1,270/unit/mo → DSCR ≈ 1.17× (almost there).
After abatement ends (steady state taxes back on): needs ~$1,600/unit/mo or other supports → DSCR ≈ 0.92× at market.
(See the “Lean scenario” rows in the table I shared.)

Translation: if Decorah extends/expands its residential abatement, or you secure longer, cheaper debt, or bump density a tad more, Smültown can work. Without some combo of those, it’s tight.

Practical levers that move the needle (my honest take)

Zoning & utilities (biggest swing):
Inside city (or annexed) with cluster/PUD is key. Decorah R-1 minimum lot size is 10,000 ft²; outside city limits, lots without sewer can require 1 acre each—density killer. So, this really wants city utilities + PUD to cluster homes tighter. Municode Library winneshiekcounty.iowa.gov
Ditch basements; add shared storm shelters: keeps costs down ~15–25% vs. finishing a full lower level in each home. (Basements routinely add $20–$37/ft² for the foundation, plus $30–$50/ft² to finish.) Home Advisor HomeGuide
Right-size the amenity package: a friendly clubhouse + co-working gym can be <$1M; a pool can run $0.7M–$1.5M+ for even a small community build in the Midwest. recmanagement.com Sports Facilities Companies
Solar strategy: shift to community arrays (on roofs of the clubhouse/storage) that offset common-area loads and future-proof EV charging. Avoid per-home solar (capex heavy) until policy settles; the federal credit landscape is moving as of Aug. 2025. Reuters Politico
EVs: make every stall EV-ready (conduit + 240V capacity) and install Level-2s where pre-leased—saves ~$1k–$2k per unit up front and scales with adoption. J.D. Power
Tap incentives on the table:
• Residential tax abatement (Decorah’s used 100% for several years on new res)—structure a multi-phase plan with a full 5–10-year schedule for multi-res cluster. decorahleader.com
• §45L credit ($2.5k–$5k/unit if ENERGY STAR/DOE ZERH) – meaningful when multiplied by dozens of homes. ICS Tax, LLC Building Innovation Hub
• State Workforce Housing Tax Credit (up to 10–20% ITC on eligible costs) can close the gap in small cities. Economic Development & Finance Authority
• Consider USDA Rural or HUD 221(d)(4)-style financing equivalents for longer amortization & lower rates to keep DSCR healthy after abatements.

Quick answers to your earlier points

Chargers in every garage? Technically easy; budget $800–$2,500 per home. I’d recommend “EV-ready everywhere” + install chargers based on lease demand to protect the pro forma. J.D. Power
Bright color siding, porches, small lawns, close-set homes? 100% brand-on and density-friendly—just make sure the PUD explicitly allows your setbacks and façade palette.
Solar on “every roof”? Feels great, but it’s capital-intensive. Start with community solar + wired roofs for later phases.

If you want, I can spin a few more variations (e.g., 60/72/96 units; with/without garages; modest pool vs. splash pad) and show how each change shifts “required rent” and DSCR. And if you have a target site in mind, we can localize land/utility figures and rerun the model with a tighter bullseye.

Sources for key inputs: rents (Zillow & Apartments.com), land pricing (active Decorah listing + averages), Iowa build & basement costs, solar & EV charger costs, Decorah/Winneshiek zoning & abatement, and §45L details. Zillow Apartments.com LandSearch+1 Home-Cost Calculator Houzeo Home Advisor HomeGuide EnergySage J.D. Power Municode Library winneshiekcounty.iowa.gov decorahleader.com Iowa General Assembly ICS Tax, LLC Building Innovation Hub

Want me to rename the spreadsheet tabs to Smültown (umlaut proudly included) and add a “phase plan” sheet next?

Sources

You said:

Wow! That blows my mind. I love the lean idea, not only because of the cost, but it feels more eco. I did not know that basements were so expensive. Maybe that’s why they don’t have them down south? I was originally thinking one-hundred homes, mostly because I didn’t know and looked at my apartment building and there must be at least that many. I would also bet that we could charge a fair amount more than any average. But maybe not. I’m going to have to download all of this and read it in more depth. You’ll remember when I come back?

ChatGPT said:

Yep—basements are a big cost driver, both in excavation/foundation work and in finishing them out. And yes, you nailed it: in much of the South they skip them entirely because of high water tables, soil types, and (for some areas) frost depth not requiring a deep foundation. In the Midwest, frost lines and tornado safety keep them popular—but if you can meet code and storm safety with shared shelters, you save a ton of money and complexity.

I’ll remember this whole Smültown discussion when you come back. You’ll still have the numbers, the “lean” concept, the zoning/finance angles, and the files ready to re-open. If you want next time, we can model 100 units and test what happens if you push rents above market averages to see how much headroom there really is.

When you do dive into the downloads, focus on the “Pro Forma Summary” first—it’s the quick-glance reality check—and then the assumptions sheet if you want to tweak things and see how they ripple through the math.

Do you want me to also prep a 100-home lean scenario now so you can see the effect before you go read everything? That way you’ll have the full range when you come back.

You said:

Yes and maybe raise the rents 25% and then 50%? You do what you think is best.

ChatGPT said:

Here’s how a 100-home “Lean Smültown” pencils out with different rent levels (all numbers include the baseline new-build premium of +8% baked in, then your extra % increase):

Units	Avg SF/unit	Project Cost ($M)	Cost/Unit	Annual Debt Service	Required Avg Rent/mo	Market Avg Rent/mo	DSCR @ Market Rents
100	810	18.65	$186,460	$999,504	$1,593	$1,270 (+0% over base)	0.93×
100	810	18.65	$186,460	$999,504	$1,593	$1,564 (+25% over base)	1.26×
100	810	18.65	$186,460	$999,504	$1,593	$1,857 (+50% over base)	1.59×

What it means:

At current market +8% new build premium, 100 homes would almost break even on DSCR (0.93×).
At +25% above base, you clear the 1.25× DSCR target—lenders would like that.
At +50% above base, the project would be very healthy financially (and give you room for reserves or upgrades).

The catch: in Decorah, +50% rents might limit your tenant pool, so the real sweet spot will depend on whether you’re targeting only college staff/faculty or also in-commuters with higher incomes.

Do you want me to also run this 100-home scenario with a 5-year tax abatement and §45L credit like we did for the 80-unit lean version? That would drop the required rent in the early years.

You said:

No. I have enough for now. This is so amazing. I’m still overwhelmed by you. Thank you and until next time…

ChatGPT said:

You’re welcome, and I’m really glad you’re excited about this!
I’ll be here when you’re ready to pick it back up—whether that’s for more number-crunching, zoning deep dives, or branding “Smültown” with that proud umlaut.

Until next time, enjoy reading through everything.

The people are woke and global, sorry fatheads

Hearing about Vladimir Putin’s attempts to keep his citizens in the dark about what he was planning and now, what he is doing, in Ukraine is laughable. How is it that these angry old guys really think they can keep information away from people in the age of the Internet? Russia is a modern country, their people are logged in and connected to everyone else logged in. Yes, the state media controlled their message and was telling them one thing but just how many modern educated Russians believe their official state television? Probably about as many Americans who watch Fox News and believe that. (Fox has about 1.5 million daily viewers or about .003 percent of the American population.)

Russians get their news from many sources as do educated and curious people all around the world. They get Russian news, BBC, German news, and on and on – the new perspective is global, which many powerful men and women disdain as it sucks life out of the power to which they cling like deer ticks. Unless Putin could somehow corral the entire world of media into playing along with his lies, or build a dome across his 11 time zones, he is absolutely screwed when it comes to controlling what his people see, hear and know. And we see now how badly he has failed. Brave Russians are protesting in the streets, which to us in America might not sound so amazing, but protesting in Russia is not, shall we say, encouraged by the State. Protesters put themselves and their families in real, sometimes mortal danger.

Even North Korea, a veritable desert of outside news, can’t stop it all. Defectors have reported various ways their citizens still find a way to get western information, usually entertainment, into the country. If the Kim’s can’t do it, no one can.

Here in our own nation, fatheads around the country are banning or trying to ban books, like it’s 1952. This is the absolute dumbest (and dumbing) move the said fatheads can attempt. First, tell a young person with even a modicum of smarts and self-respect not to read a book and they will find a way to read the book. Duh. Second, ban them where? Books are everywhere. You could work to ban it in a school but another school with have it, so will the library, and so will, ahem, Amazon. And third, kids have printers. Got it, fatheads? We know that what you’re doing is merely to make others like you happy to further your political careers, but you look so dumb doing it, that it can only backfire. It seems that you also should read those books, and many more, until you get it.

Young people are woke and global (as are many old people). Your attempts to turn back the clock, jam the toothpaste back in the tube, close the barn door after the cows all left reminds me of the old guy on the 70s television show “Soap” who would snap his fingers and think that he’d become invisible when all the people around him just kind of groaned and went on with their business. You’re ridiculous. You have zero respect for the modern world and for the intelligence of young people. They don’t need you telling them what they can and cannot read. They need you to get the hell out of the way so they can build a new world that recognizes reality, not the wishes of a washed up generation who is handing those same young people a planet that we continue to fuck up on a daily basis.

This is not to mention all of the misinformation perpetrated by these same people around COVID. That led to dead Americans and lots of them. For that, if Christianity is correct, you will all land in hell. Sorry. Well, not really.

We’ll start the new year off with a bit of science.

Floating Houses

Not like houseboats, but houses that are moored to the bottom of the sea that then glide “up and down their steel foundational poles with the movements of the waters below.” Movements that, of course, create energy. These homes float but are also “weighted by basins filled with recycled, water-resistant concrete…” to give them some heft on the sea, and they note that “Heavy pieces such as pianos are counterweighted with bricks on the opposite side of the house.” I wouldn’t have thought of that until they rolled the piano into the living room.

Our oceans WILL rise and our coasts WILL flood, no matter what we do now, so thinking in terms of taking advantage of the changes that we will have to cope with in the coming decades, is exactly how we should all be thinking.

Cognitive Issues Decline in U.S.

“From 2008 to 2017, the percentage of adults ages 65 and older in the U.S. with serious cognitive issues dropped from 12.2% to 10%…” This was from a Canadian Study that if accurate would have saved about 1.1 million people in the US from the ravages of dementia. My father had Lewy Body, a form of Alzheimers. It’s awful, awful stuff. This is good news and let’s hope it holds up with additional studies and continues in that direction.

My parents smoked and drank quite a bit for most of their lives. Let us hope that didn’t have anything to do with it. I’d be screwed.

More seriously, this is a beautiful piece of writing about an aging min d .

Synthetic Biology

What is it? Not much, just “a transformational technology to feed the planet, conquer disease and combat pollution.” Nothing to see here. What? Here’s how they describe it. “Biological information is coded in DNA, so it can be programmed – with the goal of redesigning organisms for useful purposes.” And if that don’t send a chill up your spine, you might want to read it again.

They say that synthetic biology “holds the promise of reprogramming biology to be more powerful and then mass-producing the turbocharged cells to increase food production, fight disease, generate energy, purify water and devour carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.” They say it will grow exponentially, similar to computing power over the past decades. See. It’s not all “redesigning organisms for useful purposes,” in fact, “the potential is for civilization-scale flourishing, [That’s Drew Endy, “an evangelist” for synthetic biology and a professor of bioengineering at Stanford University] a world of abundance not scarcity, supporting a growing global population without destroying the planet.”

In fact, the revolution is already here: “…the DEKALB seed business … is creating nitrogen-fixing microbes to apply to seeds, potentially reducing the use of chemical fertilizer.” And even better: “Cronos, a Canadian company, is using synthetic biology to develop cannabis edibles.” Seriously; that’s what it said.

Coffee? Tea? Assimilation?

If you look closely at the photo, you’ll see stars and satellites, a line of satellites. This was just about an hour ago. It was a steady stream of satellites – left to right – for at least a couple of minutes. What you see in the image probably replaced itself every 5 seconds or so. It was freaky. First thought: Aliens. This is it. I need to gather the family and head out into the woods. Then I thought of Elon Musk. Oh, yeah, Elon Musk is bringing 5G to all corners of the globe. I mean, I hope that’s what I saw. Because if it was aliens, they’re here, and I’ve just not got the news nor been lasered, probed or assimilated. I don’t think.

Either way, it was a rather unsettling sight to behold stepping out of my garage. Will this become commonplace, or did I just happen to be at a spot where the sun, which had recently set, was angled exactly and lit them perfectly? Weird. Welcome to the future, indeed. That being said, I’ve always wanted to be sucked up in one of those below-flying-saucer light beams, the blue ones. That’s got to be pretty cool. I mean, provided what was on the other end didn’t eat me.

Yoho’s got a new hole

Congressman Ted Yoho, “proudly serving Florida,” is obviously one troubled man-child. You’ve probably heard the story that this old fool accosted Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a first-term Democrat from New York, also known as AOC. This young woman is quite brilliant, fiercely dedicated to her constituents, a true believer in justice and fairness, no matter how much you agree or disagree with her opinions. Not sure what Yoho brings to the table, but it appears to be not much of anything good.

Yoho, like a pimply eighth grade bully, came after Ms. Ocasio-Cortez ON THE STEPS OF THE CAPITOL, and among many other things, called her a “fucking bitch.” Think about that. An old guy congressman accosted a fellow congresswoman on the steps of the capitol. If she were my daughter, Mr. Yoho would be in the hospital right now.

However, that is not the case and in fact Ms. Ocasio-Cortez herself performed surgery on Yoho with one of the most well-spoken pleas, not for any additional apologies (Yoho tried that and fell squarely on his fat head with the most pathetic “apology” – or non-apology – ever given), but instead a plea that this sort of behavior needs to stop for ALL WOMEN. It’s an amazing speech and if I were Yoho I’d resign now. These guys are dinosaurs and Ms. Ocasio-Cortez and all the young people who are growing up to respect one another are the meteor that will end their time here on earth.

Watch it here:

Yoho’s got a new hole.

Black Thursday? No.

I feel like I should say something about Black Friday starting on Thursday. It’s anti-family, anti-Thanksgiving, anti-American, and pro-conspicuous consumption for people who honestly think they’ll save a few bucks, while good people have to leave Thanksgiving dinner and their families for some small number of fools who’ll think they’ll save those few bucks on some piece of electronics, that, and I have it on good information, is sub par garbage that is made by sub par companies that is re-branded as whatever the fools think they’re buying. That 50 inch Panasonic TV is made by some crap company just to fill this pathetic need that doesn’t exist but for the rush for Black Friday Door Buster savings. You lose, the workers and their families lose, we all lose. Stay home and love the people you love. Get up as early on Black Friday as you want, but don’t encroach on Thanksgiving Day. Unless you hate the people who are manning the cash registers and floors of the stores you charge into. You think you save a few bucks, but they and their families’ get fucked. And ultimately so do you.

Nice Windows

So there’s quite the kerfuffle about Pope Francis bagging a bit on the childless couples who act like their dogs and/or cats are even remotely decent substitutes. And I get that that is maybe a bit old school Catholic style. But I’m right there with him! I’m so tired of my childless friends talking about this new restaurant or that great band they saw. Screw that! How about you procreate – as we were all meant to do! That’s the only reason why you’re on this earth – the only real reason! Everything else is window dressing! That pottery you do? Whatever. The music you make? Fun, but ultimately pointless. All those great art shows? You wouldn’t miss them if you never saw them.

And yet the rest of us – the beaten and down-trodden who carry the future of the world on our shoulders and our credit cards – double-down, the women go through the amazing sacrifice of giving birth and the two of us (hopefully) feel the tectonic shift beneath our feet and realize that one now true truth: It’s no longer about me any more, it’s all about you. I live for someone else.

And you with your hip concerts and surprise trips to Costa Rica! You with your spotless houses and planned dinners! You with your facebook posts about all the kidless fun you’re having! You!

Have you ever cupped your hands to catch the puke of a little girl? Realized long after changing a diaper that you had poop beneath your fingernail? Have you ever listened to the banal goings on of a six-year-old orator on a car trip for 2.75 hours? NO, YOU HAVE NOT! And even if you have you could leave the little pains in the ass behind when you head home to your great new awesome HBO series binge-a-thon!

Yeah, I’m jealous. Really jealous. You got it made. I’m screwed. But you got to admit I got it right with the whole evolution thing. Crap out kids – the genetic coupling, halving yourself. Passing on the genes. Only the strong survive. That’s the only real reason we’re here. The rest is window dressing.

But I got to admit that your windows look awesome, god damn it.

Tell it like it is

My dad’s obit appeared today in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, the Saint Paul Pioneer Press and the Sioux City Journal and will also appear in the Lake County Chronicle on Thursday. What does that mean? Our little final story will hit three papers near to where he’s most recently lived and soon one where he really recently lived.

I’ve read the obituaries every Sunday for the last 25 years of my life. Since I was 25, I guess. I don’t know what got me into that habit, but the habit I got. It’s become a ritual for me because I find myself wanting to know who’s dying. And more than that, and here’s how most obituaries so fail, why. I was certain to mention what ailed my father before he died because I think it’s terribly important. An obituary without a cause of death is just a greeting card. With a cause of death, it’s a statement of fact.

We, the living, need to see what’s killing the rest of us – no matter how awful or what we think wrongly is embarrassing. It’s the truth that we need to recognize together. There’s no shame. Suicide or aneurysm or cancer or car accident. The truth of the matter is what matters. It’s what will touch us to be aware of what is killing the rest of us. Lewy Body Dementia isn’t pretty, but I’ve now heard from others that have loved ones that suffer similarly. That’s good. Because they find solace in the diagnosis, reason and love. And shared experience.

When I read those that do tell the whole truth, I feel alive. When I read those that don’t, I’m not sure exactly how to feel. Yes, I revel in a life well lived, but beyond that it’s what behind door number one. You guess. But you could never possibly figure it out.

Death by any means is noble – whether it is an old woman dying in her sleep at 95 surrounded by family or a young person suffering from mental illness who commits suicide. It’s entirely equal and important. Obituaries need to spell it out and allow us to respond as human beings. Even a suicide bomber. We should know that, see who they were and who loved them, and we’ll be that much closer to knowing what causes something so hideous, and maybe be there to affect such a decision in the future.

But that is extreme. What about the rest of us and all the diseases and accidents that take us out of this life? The more we know, the more we can understand and be prepared and aware. Cancer, stroke, old age, [insert that which killed your loved one here] – let the people know. Let them know what took this great person’s life so they, the rest of us, can be aware with the ones we love.

We hear statistics, trends, numbers, chances, but they’re just that. Not human beings, but numbers. Give the body a reason. Give the people a chance to understand and maybe respond. All death is noble, if we take the time to understand why. Life is what we’re living, death is not just a concept, it’s more true than you can ever be yet. Tell it like it is. Let that be your favor to the future.

Good writing and all that good stuff

Writing. I have nothing to write about so I will write about writing. I wanted to be dramatic and say something like Writing is a lost art! Yes, I would just get it out there! But how stupid is that? There’s so much great writing happening right now that to make some ridiculous blanket statement like that is, well, ridiculous. How’s that for losing the art?

In fact, there are so many books of poetry, essays, fiction and nonfiction; movies, even television shows that showcase spectacular writing all of the time that one couldn’t possibly read, watch or otherwise experience in a decade that which is created in a single year. It’s truly astounding. I’ve read mostly unread blog posts that brought me to tears. How cool is that?

One of the things that I don’t necessarily cotton to is off-the-charts shockadelica writing. I remember a long time ago watching ER, which had great writing, but they were one to often go a bit over the top. A patient comes in, impaled by a tree! That was knocked down by a crazed killer’s car! Who had just abducted an innocent child! And the patient was a nun – who had AIDs! Sometimes it was all too much – like when the helicopter crashed! It’s like our threshold for shock had become so numbingly inflated that they had to raise the bar – constantly. Now we have/had serial killers who kill bad guys. Nice, that.

But, whatever, people love it – and the writing is still really, really good. I wonder if there’s an upper limit. Will simple love stories disappear lest they make certain they are vampires in love? Will we be bored unless the love includes one person who is not just a bad guy, but a flesh-eating bad guy?

Took the family to see Frozen today. Nice movie, kid-friendly, visually pretty stunning and all that good stuff. On the way out, my 9-year-old daughter said that it would be cool if it had real people in it, echoing a sentiment I felt throughout the movie. I’ve grown a little weary of the Disney/Pixar and the like cartoon characters. They’re just not all that expressive, although they certainly try, and those big ballooney eyes they like and particularly on the female characters, while once pretty compelling are a bit empty now. The reindeer was the most expressive character in the whole movie strangely.

But the writing was very good. Some of the song lyrics set the teeth on edge with a saccharine coating, but that’s a small complaint. Maybe they’ll bring it to the stage.

But I digress. We’re having a veritable renaissance of writing – and especially in the entertainment industry. That’s where the money is so that’s where a lot of great writers are going. It’s exciting. Let’s hope it inspires lots of young people to take writing seriously. I can’t imagine it won’t.

Vladimir Hitler (okay, that’s over the top)

Kudos to the Russians for the Olympic intro. God bless ‘em, yes, it was an extravaganza, as it always is. Beautiful and poignant and then, ultimately, please make it stop, super bowl halftime style. But I think they made some recognition of their own not so perfect history, which was good. I’m not sure even we juggernaut Americans would have done so. Some recognition of a not so Pollyanna past which they’ve been prone to as Soviets and now new Russians. Something tells me we would have draped a flag over all of our own ugly past. But there’s still the 50 billion dollar price tag (what happened to that?!), which the Chinese would have parlayed into an Olympic games and then maybe Disney Beijing. Putin’s a megalomaniac, no doubt. And this is his moment. But is it enough? I don’t think so.

But let’s watch the games!

Sadly in the end, Putin will do what Putin wants to do. Shit, Hitler had the Olympic games at his peak and look how that turned out, how history sees it, Vladimir.

But let’s just watch the games!