I read a review of a book by Brad Stulberg called “Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything is Changing – Including You.” It talked about the concept of allostasis, or the idea that “rather than being rigid, our healthy baseline is a moving target.” The idea of impermanence or that everything is always changing and we need to go with the flow – rather than try to push the river. The concept was developed by a neuroscientist and a biologist.
It’s a very old concept, actually, but the two doctors no doubt look much deeper. The only constant is change. We are different people from on second to the next, and on a cellular level, completely different human beings every seven years through cell regeneration. Plus, everything is essentially alive, and changing, through the energy that courses through it and holds it together. We don’t need to move mountains because they are already moving.
But we naturally fight change – it goes back to when everything could be dangerous and so we tended toward the status quo, hoping to be around those we know and what we know. Change, back then, was a tiger wandering into camp.
So, it’s really hard to accept change, for many of us. And the older we get, the more set in our ways we become, and so acceptance can be even more of a challenge. Similar to how the more time we spend alone, the more set in our ways we become. We are used to the same people (very few in this case) and our own stuff and we just don’t want the world to evolve or progress. We like it just how it is. But the reality is there’s ultimately nothing we can do about it. It’s going to change and we can either keep fighting it or work with it.
He goes on: “Adopting an allostatic outlook acknowledges that the goal of mature adulthood is not to avoid, fight or try to control change, but rather to skillfully engage with it. … you come to view change and disorder not as something that happens to you but as something that you are working with.”
I remember a friend who knew some Kung Fu introduced me to the concept of using your opponents aggression against them. So, if you attack me, rather than push back, I move with you in the direction you’re going, gain control, and Kung Fu your butt. That’s the same concept in a way – going with the flow.
Mr. Stulberg writes: “To be flexible is to consciously respond to altered circumstances or conditions, to adapt and bend easily without breaking, to evolve grow and even change your mind.” Ain’t that the truth?