http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G0SmkiodWA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7kRSU9RjUE&feature=endscreen
It started out with stopping by, droppin’ in and poppin’ over. Cave to cave. Cabin to cabin.
Then we learned to write with letters and along came letters written to drop in the box and on to whomever.
The telegraph turned letters into tweets – instantaneous and terse.
The telephone turned everything else upside down, inside everywhere – voices over lines of metal – spoken in Spokane heard in Japan. Conversations across the universe. There was nothing more to say. And when they got into homes, there was nowhere to hide. They had you in your house. The perfect crime.
Then phones divided into cellphones and proliferated. Popping up everywhere, public spaces, intimate places. Joined at the hip. Cool shit. The crime perfected.
Emails hail down upon your desktop, your laptop, iPad and cellphone. Damage occurs.
But that was not enough – we’ve rebuilt the telegraph from man to man, phone to phone. Tweeting everything. Leaving out nothing.
We’re dropping by all the time.
We’re just buggin’ the shit out of each other.
My kids say, “I was like…” all the time. And it fucking pisses me off. [Full disclosure: I say it all the time.]
“I was like…”
Whatever happened to “I said…”? or “I turned to her and replied…”? or “I looked at him and basically screamed that…”?
It’s all, “I was like…” now.
It’s a verbal simplification that will destroy the minds of man. Over time. All of us.
The simpler we make things, the stupider we make things. Consider the tweet or Ikea. We find so that the mind doesn’t matter more and more. Design for the dumbest among us. The quickest fixes. The quality falters.
And what? Hope for the best?
The first line of “On Poetry” by David Orr, entitled Daily Devotions, from this last Sunday..
“It is impossible to picture certain poets buying Cheetos at a Sunoco. Granted, this is true of a particular sort of person in any occupation – it’s hard, for example, to imagine Mitt Romney with iridescent orange dust all over his hands, unless he had accidentally purchased Halloween.”
Follicle Law
Why are there so many men with square-staches and bald heads? They’ve been proliferating exponentially for the last decade. Where did all that hair go? Why not beards? It’s as if a rule were decreed by the king of these things making it illegal or immoral for a man to have some hair but not all hair, and that upper lips and chins must be covered by a thin layer of whisker.
The Mother Ship
What has happened to Uptown? When Prince wrote about it, quite frankly, it was still rather a dump, but the arrival of the much-maligned Calhoun Square kicked off a renaissance that ushered in the unique, chic and local boutiques. Now there’s an LA Fitness. An LA Fitness. And somehow, like a fleet of alien spaceships, great big blocky condominium buildings with silly names are moored all around the place. I can’t see the sense in any of this. Who, at one point, looked around and thought, “Congestion. This place needs more residents.”
Skinny Little Lovers
Prisons provide weights – apparently so the hardened criminals can develop even more hardened physiques, making them stronger and more dangerous upon release. I propose we remove all the weights, limit the caloric intake to reduce the physical mass, encourage long distance running (within the confines of the yard), broadcast only Lifetime movies with the likes of Valerie Bertinelli and Marcia Gay Harden, serve up 19th century romantic poetry if anyone wants to read, and drip a steady stream of ecstasy into the water supply.