tricky

I’m coming out in favor of the new american idol. Right. The same old american idol. But with the new judges and whatnot, it feels a bit fresh. Exactly what it needed. So that’s my stance on american idol. Go ahead and file it.

Tonight I heard they had tricky on and I know tricky and was thinking, “sweet! Tricky!” But then I saw the dude and I thought, “wait a minute! That’s not my tricky!” and I realized that I had a tricky. My very own tricky. And apparently there is more than one tricky.

my tricky
another tricky

moby duck

moby duck: : The True Story of 28,800 Bath Toys Lost at Sea and of the Beachcombers, Oceanographers, Environmentalists, and Fools, Including the Author, Who Went

I read the article in Harper’s that preceded this book some years back on the North Shore of Lake Superior on a rainy autumn day. It was a beautifully told and fascinating story about a shipping container filled with these rubber duckies that slides from a ship in the middle of the Pacific, I think, and begin popping up on beaches around the world. I’ve been forever blown away by a description of an area (hundreds of?) miles in diameter some where in the Pacific where plastic (and other) garbage comes together in the currents, almost coagulates – plastic bottles, shopping bags, laundry baskets, and on and on and on. Yum.

nothing is impossible

I’ve got this picture of my cousin Perry Barnes water skiing except he’s on a disk and not skis and on the disk – maybe three feet in diameter – he’s placed a stool – maybe two feet tall – and it’s 1971 and he’s got a kickass mustache and he’s standing on the stool skimming along at 25 miles an hour on a sunny summer day on South Long Lake. Brilliant.

Nothing is impossible.

surprisingly quiet

[Contraption]

GAS PASSERS

From a website for Spartan Digital Electronics, a company invented by the Government Accountability Office for a covert test of the Energy Star rating-approval and monitoring procedure. Of twenty imaginary products submitted, fifteen were approved, including the one below; in its March report, the GAO concluded that the program is “for the most part a self certification program vulnerable to fraud and abuse.”

Spartan Digital Electronics is proud to announce its latest line of home electronics. The gas-powered Black Gold model clock radio is sleek, durable, easy on your electric bill, and surprisingly quiet. The newly Energy Star – qualified product is safe for indoor use and easy on the environment. This product approximates the size of a small portable generator for increased ease while traveling.

As quoted in Harpers Magazine July 2010

bipartisan sleazery

“An analysis of 20 years of politicians’ sex scandals reveals that Republicans have slightly more of them – 34 since 1990, compared with 27 for Democrats. Republicans have had more scandals that involved prostitutes, politicians claiming to stand for ‘family values,’ and underage boys; Democrats’ scandals are more likely to involve female staffers, sexual harassment, and underage girls.”

It seems Republicans are kinkier, gayer and more hypocritical and Democrats are, quite frankly, less interesting in their extra-marital screwing-abouts.

eyes and fingers

“The Indian government is trying to give each of its 1.2 billion citizens a ‘universal identity number’ that will have biometric markers, such as an iris scan. Fingerprint markers may not work because many Indians’ fingerprints are worn off by years of manual labor.”
The Week
quoting The Economist

Imagine being identifiable to your government with an iris scan.

Then imagine working so hard you no longer have fingerprints.

generations and freedoms

“Every generation brings more freedoms.
Every freedom brings generations of problems.
That’s what makes life interesting.”

A truer truth has never been uttered. Okay, maybe it has, but this is pretty damn true. And where does it all end? Certainly we temper ourselves over time; the orgies of the sixties didn’t take long to look rather self-indulgent, so let’s follow that sex bit a bit.

As a kid growing up in the 1970s a naked woman was something to be mostly wondered about and occasionally glimpsed in National Geographic magazine or, in utterly sublime moments, a father’s Playboy. But it really was a glimpse, personally cut short by our sense of propriety (20 percent) and fear of being caught (80 percent). But it was the limited exposure that gave it its magic. Had I been put in a room with a twelve foot high stack of Playboys, Penthouses and Oui magazines back when I was 10 or 12 without a chance of being caught, I’m not sure how I would have handled it, but I do know that whatever magic I glimpsed in the former scenario, this full-on, uncensored immersion in it all would have been certainly unsettling and quite frankly, magic-killing.

That’s what it must be like for kids today growing up in the age of the Internet. They’re always just a couple of clicks away from the most unseemly copulation by a still shocking number of people who are willing to film themselves having sex, thinking about sex, fondling themselves or simply looking naked and stupid. It’s one thing to have a population of exhibitionists* among us and quite another to give them this border crossing, ever-present, technicolor stage to exhibit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of relatively open sexuality.** To this day I’m shocked at how much our particular country is willing to put up with a constant fire hose of violence, murder, shots, cuts, rapes, beheadings, molestations and so on on television, but if a woman’s breast slips from her blouse, we cry bloody murder. It seems most European countries have a much better balance on that particular front.

Hopefully this new-found instant access to smut won’t have a huge affect on young people and it appears that it hasn’t, at least to date. These strange and explicit freedoms seem to have been mostly welcomed with a big yawn. The kids aren’t all crazed sexophiles. Instead, teenage pregnancy has gone down. I suppose they are like I was and not particularly impressed by sex en mass, but instead recognize that there is sex and sexuality and then there’s this parody of it all we find on the web (in magazines, television and other media).

One need only replace sex with chocolate (some would gladly, by the way) and you get the idea.

* I dub thee the copulation population…just have to.

**To wit, this relatively innocent and earnest college paper written as a mythology of Prince.