Toilet Candy. That’s what I’m talking about right there. Candy toilet – or at least a plastic toilet filled with flavored sugar into which you dip lollipops for even more sugary delights! I believe these arrived in my kids’ stockings this year and I think I was the most surprised. Not by their appearance, but by their very existence. Who on earth manufactures these things? Who thought them up? Who thought, “We could, you know, if we wanted to, make a candy toilet.” And then who are all the people in the R&D, design and manufacturing who collectively thought, “Makes perfect sense to us – candy toilets!”

I can just hear some dopey branding consultant talking about “experience candy,” and “appealing to kids’ inherent fascination with their bowels” and other such nonsense.

I have ideas, weird ideas, crazy ideas, stupid ideas but would never deign to take them to fruition – or even mention. And maybe that’s why I’m here making a modest living and not there at the top of the world hobnobbing with the One Percent. I saw a quote from Stephen King recently that said something along the lines of talent is as common as table salt; it’s the hard work that makes one successful. (Terrible paraphrase, sorry about that.)

What’s the connection? I suppose that everyone’s got a good idea or two up their sleeves, but only those who can take that toilet candy idea through to kids’ stockings and stocked shelves win. That’s how the toilet candy made it here. They willed it. They made it happen. Someone took their dream of toilet candy and made it a reality – and the world is anew because of it.

I’m off to work on my Outhouse Lunchables.